Mr Page on pets …

“Oh!  Yes, a Kangaroo, well of course … um … that’s a nice … nice animal.  If you have got a young one and you bring him up as you want him to … er … I like a kangaroo because they can stand up and they can walk about and that and they can pick the grass off … er … their hands and they’ll take a bit of bread and bread and butter and that and eat it, and … er … a kangaroo can pick up a cup off the table and drink out of it and things like that.  They are more intelligent if you like to adapt them and learn them.  Of course they knows nothing, but a monkey I could never make nothing of.  If you start to do anything … er … with a monkey, if you start to take … um … a magneto to pieces or anything like that there’s a … that monkey … er … he’ll want some of your parts what you got, and he’ll sneak them when your back’s turned or snatch them from you … er… a monkey’s no good, not to do anything.  You couldn’t rely on him, he’d put you miles behind …”


Mr. Page's Welcome…         

‘Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen,

       I never go where the cock never crows, and I wouldn’t advise any of you to go where the cock don’t crow.

       Walk up Ladies and Gentlemen and see the live lion stuffed with straw, two spots on his belly and one on his … Get away on you!  Stand back you boys!  The elephant’s about to make water …  ha ha ha ha …  All the felt hats I ever felt, I never felt a felt hat that felt like this felt … felt … felt.’